


first love.

by oharamari



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Middle School, Romance, still u should read it, this kinda sucks lol i know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-19 00:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10628295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oharamari/pseuds/oharamari
Summary: Middle school was quite an exciting place. More freedom, more experiences, more friends, and most exciting of all, first loves.But, middle school also had its downs. Adolescence, emotions, betrayal, secrets, learning things don’t always go the way you expect them.It was your first glimpse of the real world.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi! if you're reading my love live avatar au fic, i'm working on chapter two! this is a fic i wrote a while ago loosely based on my middle school experience :) i uploaded it on dA when i wrote it but i thought i might as well post it here and see how it does lol. i wrote this a while ago so the whole dialogue part the end is kind of a mess but that's okay.

You hated him.

He hated you.

Why was your relationship so simple, yet so complicated?

 

Middle school was quite an exciting place. More freedom, more experiences, more friends, and most exciting of all, first loves.

But, middle school also had its downs. Adolescence, emotions, betrayal, secrets, learning things don’t always go the way you expect them.

It was your first glimpse of the real world.

 

It was your first year of middle school. You felt an unfamiliar emotion. Could it be?  
No way.

Oikawa Tooru. When you first found out his name, your heartbeat grew a little faster. You learned he was quite popular, of course he would with that charismatic smile of his.

You were turning down your feelings, how could you like him when you knew absolutely nothing about him? It was his smile. His smile held all of the happiness in the world.

Never let appearances fool you, never judge a book by its cover.

You decided that you were confusing yourself. It wasn’t that you liked him, it was that you wanted to be like him. He was already popular enough anyways, many girls must like him, but you weren’t one of them. “Yes, this is fine” you thought.

Before you knew it, your first year of middle school was over. And you hoped your feelings would die along with it.

 

He never payed attention to you, or at least he tried not to. He was always around girls, why did this one make him feel so… different? She definitely wasn’t his ‘type’ and she blended in, never stood out. He didn’t even know anything about her, yet he always kept an eye on her. 

He thought these feelings would pass so he did nothing, but in reality he was scared of this unfamiliar feeling. His first year of middle school was soon over.

 

Hearts are attracted, yet blind.

 

Your second year had begun.  
A certain feeling of longing grew stronger.

 

This year, you ended up in the same class as him. Both of you would never have expected what was coming ahead.

You had given in, you realized these childish feelings. You liked Oikawa Tooru.  
He would stay with his girlfriend, desperately trying to chase his feelings away.

He realized something, you had changed. You were much more outgoing and sociable than last year and you changed up your appearance. He was falling deeper in this trap he was trying to escape.

Even though your personality took a 360, you were still mature and observant. Unlike him, you accepted your feelings. But you were still hesitant, he would probably think of you as just another girl.

During gym, you saw his athletic ability for the first time. He was fast, he was strong and he was talented. He excelled at many sports, but volleyball was his favorite, you loved the passion you saw in him, you wanted to do something, yet you always looked from far away.

He saw that she was not the best at sports. But she was so positive, fit to be a leader. She was energetic and kept on trying even when she miserably failed every single time. Others may have laughed at her, but he liked her perseverance.

He realized something has to change, he can’t feel like this. He is scared.

Oikawa breaks up with his girlfriend and you are overjoyed.  
Oikawa has other plans in store.

 

You finally open up to others about your feelings for him. It turns out one of your best friends went to elementary school with him. She said she’ll help you out.

Another piece is added to the puzzle.

She starts talking to him, he says he’s never known her before. Something is fishy.

 

Time passes, Oikawa and your best friend grow closer. You still have a crush on him, but you feel it would be best if you don’t get yourself involved with romance at this age.

But really, you were just as bad as him.  
Both of you were running away from something you both wanted.

Even though she gives occasional input on Oikawa, you told your best friend that she doesn't have to talk to Oikawa for you. But she says Oikawa is now her friend, and you accept that. 

He is going insane. You have put him under a spell, one that can’t be cured.  
He hates this feeling, he hates that he can’t get rid of it.

One day you notice that your best friend is getting quieter, and that she distances herself a bit. You can’t stand it. You call her, she confesses. She likes Oikawa Tooru. You think have accepted that you don’t want Oikawa, even though deep down inside you really do, and tell her its no big deal. You support her and will root for her.

 

He keeps a high guard. He talks to your best friend often, but the words he says are never genuine. He’s making up lies. Eventually your best friend confesses, she gets turned down. Oikawa acts cold and says he has someone else he likes. He mentions another classmate that he likes. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, why is he lying?

It’s your fault. All your fault.

Oikawa’s behavior changes around your best friend. The only thing he talks about is his ‘crush’ on your classmate. He doesn’t realize it but he’s hurting your best friend, and she decides to cut ties from him.

You realize Oikawa isn’t what he seems. He wears a mask to cover up his disgusting personality. He hurt your best friend. You hated him, why couldn’t you stop liking him?

Oikawa really came to value your best friend, even though he always lied, he needed her. Yet he lost her. It was your fault. He hated you, yet he was obsessed with you.

He drags your classmate into the game. Fooling her and soon breaking her heart.

So many pieces, why won’t they fit?

At this point it was obvious, both of you could tell.You caught each other staring, your actions would turn different around each other, yet you never spoke to each other. You liked each other, but you had an unspoken agreement to never talk to each other.

 

Oikawa tried changing himself back to his old self. He wanted to erase you from his mind, but this damage was permanent. 

You were angry. You never felt such a hatred as strong as this one. You couldn’t keep it in, it was time to break the agreement. This wasn’t right, he should have his lesson learned before time runs out.

After class, you tapped him on the back and said “we need to talk”, he met you in the empty classroom where you were sitting down and waiting.

He looked at you silently as you stood up. There was a heavy, silent atmosphere, broken by the sound of a slap. 

Oikawa put his trembling hand on his cheek.  
“Who do you think you are? Why do you go manipulating others, and hurting them! What gives you the right to play with us like we’re your toys? What do you find enjoyable in that?”  
You paused, Oikawa looked up, his eyes wide. Tears were falling out of your eyes as you continued.  
“I hate you! I hate you more than anything! But I hate myself as well.” You sat back down.  
“You kept on running away from me, you were a coward! But I was doing the same thing, I’m as much of a coward as you are! But I want you to apologize! Apologize to all of the people you hurt, including me!” you looked him in the eye.  
“But I guess I owe you an apology as well. I’m sorry for making you hurt yourself, I’m sorry you did all of this to yourself because of me…” your voice trailed off. “Tooru, I really like you.”

He had fallen too deep. He liked you so much.

“I like you too.” that’s all you needed.  
You smiled at him and said “take good care of everyone, make sure to fix what went wrong.”  
“Promise me?”  
“P-promise”  
You gave him a warm smile, one he had never seen before, and the whole room seemed to light up.

“Good bye.”

He was confused as you left the room, good bye?

 

You never came back to school, he eventually found out you had moved away.  
He missed his chance. You were gone forever. He was a coward.

He missed you and longed for that bittersweet moment to come back.

What did you see in him?


End file.
